I had been planning a few little things for today’s blog post, but in light of what happened on Friday, I don’t feel right about any of it.
Friday was my 30th birthday and I was throwing myself a bit of a pity party. Then the news reports rolled in and was just devastated. I couldn’t help but picture my children in that scenario. I am already very hesitant to send my daughter to Kindergarten in the fall and this incident adds to the reasons why I can’t come to terms with it. I pictured the families of all of the students hearing the news and rushing to the school. It’s just about he worst thing I can imagine. I am tearing up now and this is just the tip of the iceberg.
I felt like such a fool for being sad about my birthday when others weren’t going to get the opportunity to celebrate again. Then, selfishly, I realized that I will never again think of my birthday without remembering the Sandy Hook Tragedy. Maybe that is good? I would never have forgotten what happened, but maybe the yearly reminder of the day will keep me present in my life and the lives of others.
My thoughts are kind of jumbled. I don’t want to go into detail because we all know what happened. It is really important for us to be able to pick up the pieces and mover forward-to support those who lost their loved ones and pray that something can bring them comfort and a reason to press on. Their are questions to ask and procedures and laws to reevaluate.
I am fortunate that I do not have to explain the details to my kids. They aren’t in school yet and have had no exposure to the events on TV or otherwise. I am not sure I could handle that talk, being the hormonal, weepy, pregnant mess that I am right now. For those of you who had to have that serious discussion with your kids and had to send them to school this morning, I commend you for your strength and ability.
When I was listening to the radio this morning, they were talking bout how everyone was feeling and they had Robin of Parent Assist on to discuss how to approach the tragedy with your child. If you know me, you know that my anxiety can be crippling, and something that makes it even worse is thinking that I am projecting onto my children. The last thing I would want to do is cause my children stress because I am upset.
Robin reiterated something we all know to be true – children look to you for everything. The tone you set is the one that resonates with them. If you are crying a freaking out, why would they feel safe? I want to cry, but that isn’t an option. Your children are looking to you for reassurance that they are safe in the school that they attend and that nothing is going to happen to them. Keeping this in mind is important in any situation. I constantly have to remind myself to keep it together in front of the kids.
I want to send my prayers and thoughts out to the families and children affected by what happened. I want to comfort them, but I don’t know how. This isn’t something that can be helped by donations or volunteerism. All we can do is offer our sympathy and compassion.
I was wrong about there being nothing we can do to help the victims. United Way of Western Connecticut is collection donations to help aid the victims of the Sandy Hook School Shooting. Think counseling and services for the families and those affected.